Am I a writer?

“Do writing teachers have to be writers?: I think so. … In the sociocultural theory teaching is apprenticeship, so you have to do what you teach.  You have to model and mentor and monitor other people doing what you do.  At least, we have to understand what good writers do.” (From interview with Jeffrey Wilhelm in Chapter 2 of Teaching the Neglected “R”)

“The first responsibility of the writing teacher is to experience this essential surpirse.  You can’t teach what you don’t know.  It is unfortunate that students can pass through twelve years of instruction in reading, writing and language without having their writing come alive — a metaphor that is a reality for the writer.” (From Murray chapter, p.

In reflecting on the words of these writers and educators, I am wondering if I am a writer and/or if I qualify to be a teacher of writing according to these men’s words and thoughts.  I write academic papers and feel comfortable with those.  I also feel comfortable with just blurting any thoughts into words on a page, if I know my words will not be evaluated or judged for organization or accuracy.  But I have to admit that I don’t write for enjoyment and I don’t know that I ever have.  In my many years as a student, I have written on demand and for assignements.  Yet, I have never been given the chance (or given myself the chance or opportunity?) to just write.  I never had the experience as a child (or as an adult really) of participating in a writers’ workshop where I can write whatever I want, for myself and subject to no outside evaluation.

What does this mean for me as a teacher? … and for all of us as elementary teachers really?  Throughout any one given day, and elementary school classroom teacher must be a model reader, writer, mathematician, scientist, historian, social scientist – and much more.  How can we possibly take on each and every one of those roles in our own lives to “do what you teach”, as Wilhelm said.  Where do we find the time and the energy to passionately live each of those roles to be models and mentors for our students?

Back to the bit about being a writer… I think that is why I am having difficulty with the digital story assignment.  While I know the assignment is a small one and shouldn’t be weighing me down, I am feeling the need to be creative on demand and having great difficulty with that.  I don’t know the last time – if ever – that I wrote a personal narrative of any length for myself or for anyone else.  Sure, I have modeled writing personal narratives with/for students, but this seems different.  This seems “real”, and all of YOU will be watching it.  It makes me nervous because I don’t feel particularly competent in this area of writing.  I haven’t had much pratice or immersion into this genre of writing, and so it’s a little uncomfortable for me being thrown into it without any “warm-up” or practice.

Then I wonder: How is it that I feel comfortable teaching this genre with children but not writing it myself???  So, am I a writer?  And, am I qualified as a teacher of writing?